Firstly, you’re an INCREDIBLE mother. You give everything to your children.
Secondly, you’re NOT ALONE. Every mother goes through what you’re going through.
Thirdly, you’re WORTHY of love, passion and individuality!
So how do you reclaim your identity post-baby?
How do you make time for yourself without feeling the endless mum-guilt?
Truth is, you can’t.
Things will never be like how they were.
But what’s incredible is, you can make a NEW identity.
You get to decide who you’re going to be today, tomorrow and in the future.
You get to decide who you’ll be for yourself and your children as they watch and learn and copy you for the rest of their life.
Before the 5 Guidelines you must first understand what the mum-guilt feeling means. The definition of guilt is the fact of having committed an offence or crime. But the offence here is no crime committed, feeling guilt is feeling a violation of your own standards. And if you hold yourself to unreachably high standards, that guilt will have its grip on you always. So? Reset your standards to what’s achievable.
Here are our simple but effective guidelines to rebuilding your identity:
- Schedule a 30-60 minute Home/Gym Workout 3-6 days per week.
- when? 11am after feed and during baby’s nap
- how? few DB’s and a mat in the garden
w/u: Tabata 20s/20s Side Shuffles over Step
A1: Body Weight Squat x15
A2: DB Single Arm Deadlift & Press x15ea
A3: Postpartum Elbow-Leaning Feet Taps x15
A4: DB Single Arm Bent Row x15ea
w/u: Tabata 30s/30s Star Jumps x3min
A1: DB Deadlift x15
A2: Push Ups on Knees x15
A3: Plank Knees-to-toes x15
A4: DB Bent Row x15
w/u: Walk/Jog around garden/ street 3-5min
A1: Banded Hip Thrust x15
A2: Tricep Dips x15
A3: Static Lunge & Powerband Row x15ea
A4: Dish Hold w/ Shin Taps x60s
2. Find a long-term babysitter a.k.a. ‘Deso Daycare’
- Find a family member or hire somebody you can trust to have the kids and slowly build them comfortable to an overnight stay. Having a full unbroken nights’ sleep will be one of the best things you could ever do for yourself (..and everyone around you!)
- If family or hiring someone isn’t a possibility, plan a girls’ night and leave the partner in charge.. I bet you let him out with the boys far more often than it’s reciprocated.
- Build strong friendships with other mums and set a ‘Deso Babysitter’ whom take the kids while the other mummas go out! You take it in turns to be the designated babysitter therefore everybody wins. Plus kids love sleep overs!
- Keep your mums in a facebook group community, and plan fun activities ahead of time so everyone can plan sitters. Something as little as Jacob’s Ladder and breaky on Sunday morning can be a godsend for your mental AND physical health.
3. Schedule a non-negotiable Monthly Date Night
- when? First Friday of every month, EVERY month
- how? find a family member, friend or hire somebody you can trust to have the kids OVERNIGHT (yay sleep over kids!!)
- what? plan ahead a different restaurant / activity / location for each date. Keep it different!
4. Switch indoor shopping mall coffee dates for outdoor walks
- when? anytime you catch up with a girlfriend for coffee, ditch the shopping centre food court and take your coffee on the sand with the sea! (it’s save you $$ from avoiding shopping centres too)
- how? pop it in your diary and get yourself a comfy Baby Carrier for handsfree if with infant
- what? walk on the beach, around the park, by the river, somewhere outdoor with fresh greenery (and dogs if you like them! dog beaches are always happy zones)
5. Find a spiritual way to overcome your Mum-Guilt & Reconnect with your soul
- when? Set aside a few ‘Mindset Minutes’ as you wake up and before you go to bed to realign your mind. Good Mental health requires strong self-awareness and focus. Find the good and the goal in YOUR life you can focus on.
- how? In bed after waking / before sleeping, or as baby naps. In a (handwritten) journal write Gratitudes, goals, ideas. Give Meditation apps a go, try Yoga, Pilates, get a Life Coach like www.AshHartree.com to help you work through your challenges and find clarity.
- what? Daily Jot-Journal, regular Meditation/ Yoga/ Pilates. Work on your Ying instead of your Yang.
If you would like to make a real lifestyle change email us at IzzyBeeston@AmbitiousBodies.com.au